A Brief and Somewhat Unfocused Rant About the Hobby Lobby Case

Reportedly, Hobby Lobby CEO Dave Green saw this sign outside the courthouse and said, “Oh wait, Hobby Lobby ISN’T a church? My mistake.” Then he retracted his lawsuit and went home.

Okay, so.

Several people have asked me to blog my thoughts about the high-profile case that’s before the Supreme Court right now. I’m honestly not sure why, since my political views tend to be pretty bland and wishy-washy, but maybe that’s what the blogosphere needs. Maybe I can be the anti-Matt Walsh: angry with no one, and reasonable towards everyone.

I can at least give it my best shot.

So, here are my primary thoughts.

OMG PRO-LIFERS ARE HYPOCRITES (And so are you. And so’s your mom, probably.)

I’m not really the first person you would expect to be pro-life. I’m a registered Democrat; I voted for Obama once and will vote for him again; I’m one of the biggest apologists I know for public safety nets and universal health coverage. By all stereotypes, I should probably be giving my personal thumbs-up to abortion, as well. I can’t get myself to go there, though.

The reason for that is pretty simple, I think. Abortion, however you may want to dress it up verbally, is the taking of a human life. It’s nice and all that the human life in question has little if any self-awareness and few loved ones depending on it; it’s unfortunate that the human life in question inconveniences another human life; and of course I admit that I myself will never be so inconvenienced. (Because I have a penis. Heehee, penis.) None of that changes the fact that a human life is being taken when an abortion is performed. And you can tell me all you want that the “human life” I’m referring to is not (yet?) a human being, and therefore not deserving of my pity; I would respond, naturally, by beating a bunch of adorable kittens with a gigantic baseball bat. (I mean, what’s the problem? It’s not like they’re human beings.)