Grood* Housekeeping: Three Things I’ve Learned as a Man-Housewife

*[pointlessly obscure reference explained here.]

For the record, I'm not some rich kid whose daddy own a yacht. I was actually working on this ship.

For the record, I’m not some rich kid whose daddy owns a yacht. I was actually working on this ship.

A week before I proposed to my now-wife, I was sitting on the roof of a ship, talking to her on someone else’s cellphone. I may have also been a little drunk.

We were talking about our dreams for the future, and how neither one of us really had any. “I’ve been thinking a lot about it,” I slurred, Captain Morgan running down my chin, “and it turns out that all I really want out of life is to be a housewife.” Continue reading

Some Dirty Jokes in Your Bible.

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With my left-handed dagger, I stabbeth thee!

Hello there, friend! Do you enjoy my twisted-but-mostly-reverent take on Christian orthodoxy? Then you’ll probably love and/or be indifferent to and/or be deeply offended by my latest piece for Cracked, 6 Filthy Jokes You Won’t Believe are From the Bible! It’s got all the Biblical literacy and sarcasm that you’ve come to expect from this PK trapped in perpetual adolescence! Head on over and check it out.