Some Dirty Jokes in Your Bible.

With my left-handed dagger, I stabbeth thee!

Hello there, friend! Do you enjoy my twisted-but-mostly-reverent take on Christian orthodoxy? Then you’ll probably love and/or be indifferent to and/or be deeply offended by my latest piece for Cracked, 6 Filthy Jokes You Won’t Believe are From the Bible! It’s got all the Biblical literacy and sarcasm that you’ve come to expect from this PK trapped in perpetual adolescence! Head on over and check it out.

Drawing dicks on the walls.

Oh,
If you’re feeling small,
And you can’t draw a crowd,
Draw dicks on the walls.

—Ben Folds Five

[NOTE: This is something of an update to this post.]

Their mascot’s a ginger, so you know they’ve got soul.

I stood in the restroom of a Wendy’s wedged between an IHOP and a shady-looking tech college, doing my best to dry my hands. The nozzle of the air drier was missing, causing lukewarm air to spill into the room in a thousand different directions.

My hands were getting drier, but my shirt was getting wetter.