SUMMA w/ BUTT JOKES: intro & faq

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I can’t take credit for this. Catholic Memes is a funny site, though. You should check it out.

Hi there. I’ve decided to start a new series on my blog!

I know what you’re thinking: Luke? Blogging again? When did this happen? Why did this happen? Hasn’t the world suffered enough???

Answers: yes, yes, just now, why not?, and no.

The truth is, I never really stopped blogging. It’s been nine months, but I never officially quit. I was just waiting for an idea good enough that it was worth doing some unpaid writing for. And I got one. So I’m back.

Maybe you read the weekly column I write for Christ and Pop Culture,LOL Interwebz.” I was working on a recent one the other day, and I gave myself an idea. I wrote:

You gotta go with what sells, which is why I write a column about the Internet and its endless potential for butt jokes, instead of a line-by-line explication of Summa Theologica.

And then I thought: wait, what if someone did write a line-by-line explication of Summa, — BUT WITH ENDLESS BUTT JOKES??? Continue reading

An announcement for anyone wondering, “Hey, what ever happened to that Luke guy?”

Just thought I would drop this and let the whole world feel it.

Just thought I would drop this and let the whole world feel it.

Hi guys!

I thought I should post something for all the people who have followed this blog and then realized that I haven’t posted anything since, like, October.

I’ll be honest. The blog has been low-priority for me of late. But it’s not because I’m not writing! You can still enjoy the words I make up in many places around the Internet!

My top priority these days is the weekly column I write for Christ and Pop Culture, LOL Interwebz. That’s right, you can read my uniquely dick-jokey and Jesus-jukey take on Internet culture, every single week! Here are some of the better recent ones:

I also write semi-frequent features for CaPC as well. Here’s a recent one in which I helpfully suggest some potential storylines for a sequel to the hit evangelical film God’s Not Dead.

And I’m still an occasional presence over at Cracked. Here’s an article I was blessed with the opportunity to write about Nick Yarris, one of the first death row inmates in the U.S. to ever be exonerated by DNA evidence.

I’m also pleased to announce that I finally scratched the biggest writing itch that was distracting me from this blog — I finally finished my debut horror novel, Ophelia, Alive (A Ghost Story)! Stay tuned to learn when and how you can read it! (I’m not sure about the “when,” but the “how” will probably somehow involve the blood of your firstborn.)

In any case, this blog will still continue indefinitely as the repository for all my thoughts about Jesus, pop culture, butts, and everything in between. So have a happy new year, and a blessed Epiphany, and keep checking in.

Word to your mother.

Office Space in Universe 25

There’s a scene in Mike Judge’s cinematic masterpiece Office Space where the central character reminisces:

Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you’d do if you had a million dollars and you didn’t have to work. And invariably what you’d say was supposed to be your career. So, if you wanted to fix old cars then you’re supposed to be an auto mechanic.

I’ve never heard that formula outside of the film, but it definitely sounds an awful lot like something you might hear in one of those starry-eyed public school career classes. The problem with the sentiment is immediately pointed out by another character:

That question is bullshit….If everyone listened to her, there’d be no janitors, because no one would clean shit up if they had a million dollars. Continue reading