We All Desperately Need Some Wisdom Right Now, So Let’s Find Out What It Is, Mmmmkay? [SUMMA w/ BUTT JOKES, I, Q. 1, Art. 6]

This is part of an ongoing series in which I read and interpret Thomas Aquinas’s SUMMA THEOLOGICA for butt joke aficionados. See this post for more information.

Hey guys. It’s been a while.

I had kind of stopped doing this because I didn’t think anyone was reading it, but several people have asked me what happened to it, so I thought I’d pick it up again. And also, judging from the presidential election going on, we’re all desperately in need of some wisdom right now.



If you’re new, here’s the pitch: I’m reading through Summa Theologica, the theological opus by 13th-century philosopher St. Thomas Aquinas, offering my thoughts, and inserting butt jokes.

I’m not a trained theologian or philosopher, so I’m explicating strictly as a layman. I am, however, an expert on butt jokes.

Let’s get started.

I, Q. 1, Art. 6:

Whether This Doctrine Is the Same as Wisdom?

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Equality is Medicine, Not Food.

“I thought love meant equality,” she said, “and free companionship.”

“Ah, equality!” said the Director. “We must talk of that some other time. Yes, we must be guarded by equal rights and must all wear clothes for the same reason. But the naked body should be there underneath the clothes, ripening for the day when we shall need them no longer. Equality is not the deepest thing, you know.”

“I always thought that was just what it was. I thought it was in their souls that people were equal.”

“You were mistaken,” he said gravely. “That is the last place where they are equal. Equality before the law, equality of incomes — that is very well. Equality guards life, it doesn’t make it. It is medicine, not food.” Continue reading