Prebylutheranism 2nd Anniversary Spectacular! (My Top 10 Posts Ever)

Just because.

The other day was the second anniversary of my foray into blogging, and what a long, strange trip it’s been. I haven’t proven to be the most consistent blogger on the Web, or the one with the biggest following, or the smartest, or the funniest, or the most talented, or the best-loved, but I’m certainly…one of them?

I guess?

But one thing I am sure of is that starting this blog was a good call. Some of the things that have happened since I began it:

• I’ve been published by Cracked a couple of times;
• My work has appeared in Reader’s Digest;
• I’ve scored a book deal;
• I’ve been made a weekly columnist at Christ and Pop Culture;
• I’ve almost finished a novel (which is more of a distraction from blogging than anything, but whatever).

I thought that for this august occasion (which, ironically, is a June occasion), it might be fun to run down my blog’s top 10 posts, along with some of my commentary on them. Unless it’s not fun, in which case, I’m sorry.

Buttcracks and Legos: An Internet Full of Me

Hey guys,

Just thought I’d let you know that I have a couple new pieces going up around the web today.

There’s this, my latest ‘LOL Interwebz’ column for Christ and Pop Culture. It’s about buttcracks and Magic: The Gathering.

Then there’s this, a contrarian piece I wrote for The Erstwhile Philistine. It’s about The Lego Movie and The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and why EVERY CHILDREN’S MOVIE YOU LOVE IS A LIE.

By the way, since I have your attention: Christ and Pop Culture has a podcast, and it’s phenomenal. I’m not shilling; it’s seriously my absolute favorite podcast and I listen to it all the time. And incidentally, I’ve had the pleasure of starring in three of its episodes:

• This one (Cash, Cobain, Bush);
• This one (April Fools, #CancelColbert, The Pope’s Confession);
• And this one (Participation Trophies, A Church’s Fake Persecution Stunt, “Average Barbie”).

It’s been a blast. But every single episode is great, and you should listen to them all.

Till next time!

If You Like Reading Me Here, You’ll LOVE Reading Me Over There

Hello there, loyal readers (all three of you)!

The last time I made one of these announcements, I was pointing you over to that piece I wrote on the Bible for Cracked! A lot has happened since then!

The most exciting bit is that that piece managed to earn me a book deal! I’m currently working with Hollan Publishing on HOLY SH*T! The Dirtiest Bits in the Bible. I’m sort-of getting paid to read the Bible and write dick jokes, which is pretty much my dream job, so I’m basically on cloud nine!

Also exciting, though, is that I’m now a staff writer for the Christ and Pop Culture, which is a blog I’ve admired for a while. You can read my debut for them right now — it’s a piece on the racial tone-deafness of the American Right. Hopefully, it makes some sparks fly.

Radio, Rats, B.F. Skinner (Pandora): a descent into madness

Am I just a rat in a Skinner Box?

Those who have taken an intro to psych course will have to have heard of the tale of the rat in the box — the one with electrodes jammed into his brain in the part called the “pleasure center,” hooked to a switch he could push. He liked pushing the lever so much that he never ate food or drank water — just sat by the lever, and tapped at it, over and over.

Till he died.

I’m not quite a Luddite. I’m not one who feels that he needs tons of gadgets around at all times, but I don’t think I’m scared of technology, either. I mean, I do have a blog on this newfangled Internet thing. But I think I’d be lying if I said I was never part-wary of any new means of dispersal for new information.

What I’m trying to say is: Pandora has murdered my brain.

That’s all I’m really trying to say.

American Idolatry: Nine Things I Learned as I Was Being Sacrificed on Rupert Murdoch’s Altar

Yes, it’s true. I swallowed my pride, grew some balls, and auditioned for American Idol a few weeks ago. It didn’t go well — I didn’t even make it past the first round of cuts. Here are nine things I learned, though:

Why “Traditional” Music is Actually Contemporary

In 2007, I was studying to become an intern for the campus ministry of the PCA (didn’t work out, it was terrible, ask me about it sometime). Only small pieces of the lectures I sat through have stuck with me, but there’s one snippet that’s been bouncing around in my head ever since: “You’re going to a new town,” he said. “You’ll be attending a new church. And you’ll be extremely disappointed with your new church because it won’t be like your old church. And you’ll be disappointed because you’ve grown up with this.”